People appear to fall into one of two camps - those who do and those who complain at those who do.

A few years back I read a book entitled "Thick Face, Black Heart" by the author in the title of this post. I've had a strong interest in the martial arts for many years (Muay Thai in particular); so, this book caught my eye whilst frequenting a bookstore close to my client's offices at the time.

Throughout the book the author draws on the facets of the ancient Chinese warrior. She cogently leads the reader through a path of how to survive and prosper in warfare, (and in business). We learn how to develop a "thick face" that is, strangely enough, an inner layer that is resilient to the comments of others. Then she goes on to explain that we must also have a "black heart" - one that takes decisive action without regard to the effect of the consequences on others.

Admittedly, this kind of advice can easily be misconstrued and used as an excuse for wanton exploitation of others. However, Chu qualifies what is truly meant when the Chinese refer to having a "black heart" when she says:

"A Black Heart is ruthless but is not necessarily evil." (p13)

And then she further qualifies what is meant by saying ...

"Extraordinary people don't care what others think of them ...
They are unencumbered by others' opinions ... I am NOT
advising you to become amoral, self-centered ... There is something valuable for you to learn from these more detached people." (p37)


And if ever there was a situation that "Thick Face, Black Heart" was needed then handling negative feedback on eBay is that situation. When I refer to "handling" I don't mean the mechanics of good customer relations. No. I'm referring to how you "handle" what's going on inside of you.

So firstly, accept that as sure as you would almost certainly get beat-up pretty badly if you stepped into a ring with Mike Tyson (yes, even an out-of-shape Tyson), there is every chance you will receive negative feedback on eBay the more you grow your eBay business.

When someone complains for shoddy product quality or packaging, failing to deliver on time, poor communication or something akin to these, then we must take it on the chin (no pun intended). Their complaint is valid. The complaint is legitimate.

However, some people just seem to be born pissed-off ! No matter what is done, NOTHING seems to appease them. In their own closed world, perfection is normal. Errors of judgment are not made and mistakes do not exist. Handling this inside can be difficult, especially if you're an individual that is passionate about selling on eBay. This is your "baby" and when someone is insulting your "child" well ... let's just say that being emotionally centered is not as easy as we would like.

The great thing about developing a "Thick Face and a Black Heart" is that this is a genuine life-skill. It's not just an eBay, Negative-Feedback-handling skill. These attributes enable you to stay firmly rooted in the camp of those "that do" - a place where life is far more fruitful and enjoyable!


Stay focused,

Mark